Don’t Become Entangled in Their Pathology!

One of the benefits of a healthy economy is that people seem more optimistic and happier. Clearly, this has been the case for the past few years, especially 2019. By and large, the people I met and interacted with last year were much more positive about the future for their businesses. They were busy landing new gigs and completing work for their clients. They were pleasant and easy to be around.

 

That’s not to say that I didn’t interact with people or learned of situations that were most disagreeable.  My friend Faith often speaks of a coworker she calls “hair on fire.”   This person has a special knack for surfacing a crisis near the close of business on Friday afternoons.  Faith finds this irritating, a waste of her time.  In this respect, “hair on fire” is toxic.

 

One of my clients wasted a significant amount of time working with a potential strategic partner who promised her the moon.  This person talked about entering a joint venture partnership whereby they would split the profits from their projects.  My client began working with him in good faith but continued to ask for a document to define their relationship. The more my client asked for an agreement, the more belligerent he became. That document was never delivered and my client realized that her counterpart was insincere.  In the end, he exploited her expertise without compensation.  Fortunately, her investment wasn’t exorbitant.

 

A vendor for another client put his business in turmoil by failing to show proper accountability to his minority partners.  He didn’t include them in important decisions and was not forthcoming.  Not surprisingly, his partners resigned, taking funds owed them out of the company’s bank accounts.  This resulted in additional problems for the vendor as those funds were designated for merchandise already purchased. The list goes on.

 

As my business is about helping my clients become more effective, it’s important to help them understand the warning signs of a toxic relationship.  There is great value in avoiding the cost of a pathological relationship, so understanding the warning signs is useful.  Toward this end, I invested time in reviewing articles that discussed the personal attributes shared by successful entrepreneurs.  A summary of the attributes promoted is listed below.

 

Attributes of a successful entrepreneur:  Passion, strong work ethic, strong people skills, determination, creativity, competitiveness, self-starter, open-minded, confidence, disciplined, salesmanship, communication skills, peacefulness, poised, intuition, adaptability, opportunistic, resilient, bold, management skills, focused, accountable, skeptical, and a listener.

 

I find it interesting that these attributes not only apply to success as an entrepreneur, but they are also relevant to an employee, a senior executive, or for one’s private life.  The best summary I found was from Brian Tracy who identified five qualities:  Self-discipline, integrity, persistence, clear sense of direction, and decisive and action-oriented.  Of the articles I surveyed, Mr. Tracy was the only author who identified integrity as a key attribute for success. I find that surprising, however, I agree completely.  From my perspective, poor temperament and a lack of integrity are the primary indicators of a toxic relationship.  If that’s the case, how can one minimize their exposure to toxic people?  How can one resolve that question before entering into a business relationship?

 

When coaching Independent Consultants, I advise them to create an entry-level vehicle as a lead marketing strategy. This is a small project with a short time frame, reasonably priced to present a low-risk profile to the prospective client.   This project will validate your capabilities as you work to establish a relationship with the new client. These entry-level projects are opportunities to build trust, the foundation for a longer-term relationship.  If a relationship cannot be established, neither party has lost much in the process.

 

I believe this is good advice for entering into any relationship. Begin with a small commitment to validate the benefits of a relationship.  It’s the best way to manage risk.  Of course, there is a lot of work you can do to ensure a viable working relationship even before landing that initial contract.  As your prospective clients are interviewing you, you should be interviewing them.  It is advisable to talk with the client’s vendors and or customers to gain further insight.

 

Many people have great ideas and want to be in business for themselves. If they lack a few key attributes those dreams will never materialize.  Be on guard so you aren’t caught in their pathology.

 

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Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners

Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners