Last week I moderated two separate networking group meetings. That is not particularly interesting or noteworthy, except that they shared the same topic and presenter. The subject was “Freelancing and the Fractional Executive as a Career Option.” One group was primarily job seekers, whereas the other was composed of independent consultants and small business owners. I found it interesting that a major topic of conversation in both meetings was how to become a more effective networker. It is a fundamental issue worth further exploration. Relationships develop by expanding your network. It is how people find jobs and new customers. The ability to initiate and maintain a conversation is an essential skill in this regard. Even so, many demonstrate insecurity about their ability to have a meaningful discussion. If one cannot master this skill, your networking efforts will be frustrating. Click To Tweet
If you spend your time watching national news broadcasts by the major networks or on cable news channels, you could easily conclude that the art of conversation is dead. Regrettably, much of what we see are professional propagandists talking over one another. It’s not much in the way of conversation. Those programs are challenging, even painful to watch, unless you are into train wrecks. They should never be confused with a thoughtful conversation or an exchange of ideas. Instead, we should seek out healthy conversations. It’s how we humans learn, transact business, and build relationships. It is fundamental to our survival and our ability to thrive. Even so, it is mysterious and intimidating for many. It seems like a lost art from our distant past. I have good news, however. Effective conversation is a relatively simple skill that anyone can master.
I spend most of my day in conversation, at work, and off, as you might imagine. Much of that time is helping professionals improve their networking skills. It is the one area that generates the most interest. Job seekers and business people trying to expand the reach of their brand know that they need help in this area. My contribution is devoted to asking questions and listening carefully.
So what makes for a compelling conversation, especially with people you don’t know and have recently met? An effective conversation is an exchange of information where both parties benefit. On a deeper level, it is a dialogue that develops and strengthens a relationship. The best way to establish a relationship is to show interest in the other person in the conversation. Ask relevant questions and listen carefully to their response. By showing interest in another, you begin to build a bond that can lead to a relationship. Wait patiently for an invitation to discuss your interests. Waiting to talk is difficult for many people as they are anxious to present their background. Networking Pros understand that they must help others first. All good conversations develop by a respectful exchange. Create goodwill with the other by asking thoughtful questions. Practice active listening techniques. Understand their motivation for the meeting so you can establish common ground and offer your help.
Key Factors for Effective Conversations
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- Demonstrate a genuine interest in the other person
- Be respectful, don’t interrupt or overtalk
- Use your active listening skills, verbal and non-verbal, to understand nuances.
- Make the other comfortable; mirror, maintain eye contact,
- Ask an open-ended question to understand and keep the conversation going
- Ensure that the time, place, and situation is optimal
- Use non-verbal communication to convey interest and understanding
I am sure that these points are familiar to you. You have heard this before. So why is it that you are still apprehensive about your ability to hold a conversation? I suspect it is because you have avoided practicing these items.
If you want to become more effective as a networker, work on your conversation skills. A good conversationalist is considered exciting and sincere. You will experience greater success in building relationships that further your career and social life. Fortunately, like most things in life, the skills required to initiate and maintain an interesting conversation are easy to master.
For further reading in this connection, check out these articles.
https://www.fastcompany.com/3027801/5-ways-to-have-great-conversations
https://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Great-Conversation
Thank you for visiting our blog.
Jim Weber – Managing Partner, ITB Partners
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