Think back in your life to a moment when you felt so inspired that you were ready to run through a brick wall to get what you desired. What was it that inspired you? Was it a speech you heard? Was it a YouTube video? While speeches and videos can be motivating, my guess is that’s not what revved you up to the point of running through a brick wall.
For me, it has been those moments when I have received feedback from someone who was great at delivering it. I have been fortunate to know more than one of those people in my life and I am grateful not only for the feedback they freely gave, I am grateful for the way they gave that feedback because it inspired me to do better and be better. I am also grateful for the example they set which I have attempted to emulate.
Let me take a step back and talk a bit about what feedback is and is not. Simply put, feedback is information received in response to some action on our part. From the moment we are born, we begin giving and receiving feedback. When a baby cries in response to being born, that’s feedback. It tells everyone within earshot that the baby is breathing and alive. As we grow, we get a lot of feedback from our parents, siblings, and surroundings. That feedback teaches us valuable lessons and inspires us to do things that are productive. When we touch something hot, the pain we feel is feedback teaching us to not repeat that action. When we take our first steps, the hugs, kisses, and cheers inspire us to take more steps. As we grow older, feedback comes in more sophisticated forms. We begin discerning the relative value of it and accept or reject it based on our value judgment. It becomes not just about the feedback itself but the way in which it is delivered. If the information (feedback) is correct yet delivered in a way that offends our feelings, it is often rejected. We call that criticism.
That leads me on a slight tangent. If you are currently using or have ever used the term “constructive criticism”, please stop. There is nothing constructive about criticism because it is seldom or ever meant in a constructive way. It is called “constructive” criticism because it makes the person giving it feel better about knocking the other person with no real intention of helping them. Criticizing someone may cause someone to change to spite the criticizer but that in my opinion is not inspiring.
Now, while giving great feedback is critically important, it is not the same as being great at giving feedback. How you deliver feedback is possibly more important than the feedback itself. After all, the feedback we give is a representation of how we perceived the other person’s words or actions. While it is 100% accurate from our perspective, it may or may not be 100% factual in an objective sense. So here are some elements of giving great feedback.
How you deliver feedback is possibly more important than the feedback itself. Click To Tweet
Start with the good stuff. Be specific – Start by relating what the person is doing well or reviewing a recent positive result from their behavior. It must be something behavioral. It cannot be that they are a nice person or that they mean well. Everyone has things they do well. Pick at least two, tell them specifically what they are, how these actions benefit others, and be clear that you are encouraging him/her to keep doing those things.
Describe an opportunity for improvement – Rather than telling people what they are doing wrong, share opportunities for them to improve. It may sound like semantics but it is an important distinction. No one likes hearing what they are doing wrong. On the other hand, everyone has opportunities for improvement. Combining this with telling them what they do well first causes them to be more receptive to hearing their opportunities. Make it about their behavior. Keep personalities out of it. Also, keep it short. One opportunity at a time. More than that is overwhelming. The adage of one thing at a time applies.
Share feedback immediately – As Ken Blanchard always says don’t save it up for a holiday. Immediate feedback is more impactful because it is fresh in the person’s memory. Waiting makes them have to remember what happened and dilutes their focus on the opportunity.
Make time to discuss the how – Sharing opportunities to improve is less than 50% of inspiring improvement. Discussing how they can improve is where the inspiration takes root. Ask the person if they agree with the opportunity and then ask how they think they can realize the improvement. Human beings by nature are more committed to their own ideas. If all you offer is your own thoughts it will seem like you are telling them what to do and how to do it. Remember, feedback is not about you; it is about them. You want to show you are all about helping them. But a caution, be sincere about helping. They will see through insincerity in a heartbeat.
When you provide feedback in this way you will not only inspire improvement; you will inspire gratitude. Speaking from experience, I have had countless people not just thank me for the feedback they have asked me for more. When I have followed these four steps, I have always left people inspired to improve. I know that because when I see them next, they have greeted me with excitement, shared with me proof of their improvement, and asked for more feedback. As a mentor and coach, there is no better feeling. It shows me I am adding value to their life and after all, what’s better than that?
About Dave Roemer
Dave Roemer, Franchise Consultant with 30+ years in the industry will provide an overview of the franchise industry. Roemer will discuss a brief history of franchising along with the state of the industry today. He will give an honest assessment of the industry including the effort to increase regulation and why those efforts are growing. Finally, he will share why he believes franchising remains the best way for people to own a business and how interested parties can get help achieving their goal of business ownership
Today, Dave is an independent Franchise Consultant who helps people interested in purchasing a franchise determine which brands are the right fit and then helps them through the due diligence and discovery process. His services are free to the client as his fees are paid for by the various franchise brands with which he works.
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