I swear, I must have been transported into an alternate Universe this week, where I was an actor in a sitcom. Something resembling “I love Lucy.” You know how sitcoms are written, there is always the main plot with a few sub-plots working. By the end of the show, all the plots converge on one common theme. Yes, I was living through a sitcom episode in my alternate Universe.
It began a week ago Friday evening when my wife’s car wouldn’t start. She was at a job site which required the car to be towed to the nearest Dealer. It sat there until Monday when the Service Department opened.
As she is a residential contractor, she rented a car to keep her projects on track. Unfortunately, she fell in love with the rental and decided it was time for a new car. It must have been the electronics package. Naturally, I protested! Her car is ten years old but hasn’t even cracked 100,000 miles. In fact, it is very reliable and has had few problems. From my perspective, the car isn’t even broken in. We have been married for 43 years, so I knew how this would unfold. My best logic would be deployed to no avail. I could only hope to minimize my losses by working at the margins. By the beginning of the week, we weren’t speaking much. Houston, we have a problem!
I realize that most purchases are made on emotion and later justified by tortured logic. Surprisingly, I have come to believe that is not limited to the consumer world. All too often I have seen that scenario play out in the business world. This is was our sub-plot.
Monday, I met with a senior consultant for the local office of a National outplacement firm. He invited me to explore an opportunity to collaborate. I told him how we help our members understand and adapt to the new employment paradigm. I explained my view that we are all ‘free agents’ in a dynamic environment. Professionals will move between W-2 and 1099 status as tenures become shorter and shorter. We have little control over the employment situation created by the digital transformation of the economy. He invited me back to speak to his clients.
Tuesday, I moderated the monthly meeting of the BENG Atlanta Chapter. Our featured speaker, Erica McCurdy, a Master Coach, and ITB Partner facilitated a discussion entitled “Not every problem has a solution.” The gist of her message was don’t confuse situations with problems. There is a difference. A situation is a state of being; a confluence of events beyond one’s control. Situations require one to adapt whereas problems require solutions. Was it merely a coincidence that I was hearing this message from Erica?
It’s useful to know the difference between problems and situations to focus your energy on things you can change. If you try to change things that cannot be changed, your state of mind will suffer. By resolving things that can be changed, you will reduce stress and improve your life, especially if you eliminate unproductive effort.
Successful people view problems as opportunities to grow, improve, and adapt. For them, problems are a part of life. Their positive attitude toward problem-solving improves their outcomes. Experience makes future events easier to traverse. We should accept problems as a normal, unavoidable condition of life.
I spent the rest of the week evaluating situations and problems. As I dissected what I assumed were problems, I realized that some were situations. In these cases, I found opportunities to employ my leadership skills.
This week unfolded within the context of my wife’s desire for a new car. I had a situation. She had a problem. When she sets her mind on a course of action, I become a spectator. During our marriage, I can’t remember winning a major battle, but I’ve had success at the margins. Guys, I think you know what I mean. While I became more obstinate, digging in my heals, she negotiated a better deal. I lost, of course. I knew I would. My life was imitating art. Today, she is very happy with her new car. I live on to fight another day.
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Love the “situation” with your wife’s car, so typical, we never win! 😆 The one “must have” as my wife and I shopped for her new car was, you guessed it, the tech package!
Situations vs problems, that’s a new perspective!
Thanks, good blog post!!